[Video begins with Valters backing up from the camera and sitting down on a chair.]
"So, I decided to start logging. It's…"
[Valters looks above the camera]
"Twelve twenty-four, November 16th."
[Valters looks back at the camera]
"I've been here for two or three weeks now. Kind of lost track of that. Any way, people here are great. Nice to newcomers, fun to be around."
"Apparently this was a dry site, but a little birdie known as Mark told me that we have cider now."
"It seems like random shit happens around me. Me and Mark were sharing drunk tales, when he decided to point out a leaf. Something about life being colorful… then the leaf grew an eye."
"It got carried out through the door by the wind, and Mark started chasing it to burn it. I followed him, and recommended that we take it to containment instead. Then it multiplied, I got caught in a leaf-nado, and next thing we know, we were back at mess, looking at the damn leaf."
"And that isn't even the strangest thing! There was a plate o' cookies in the rec. I decided that, you know, I could take one. And then the cookies began screaming, pleading, and strangest of all- bleeding chocolate. I tried placing the cookie back, but the cookies died."
[Valters rubs his forehead]
"I think the cookies were anomalous in a way so that you HAVE to eat them when you see 'em too. I didn't want any… but I took another. Then Zay walked in, and gave me a good slap. He probably thinks I'm a moron now, and frankly, so do I."
[Valters reaches forward and the recording stops]